Sunday, November 29, 2015

My impression of the Republican candidates

Jeb Bush: My brother George left behind a big stinking mess. Give me a chance to make it bigger.

Donald Trump: I'm not really a racist asshole. I just play one on TV.

Chris Christie: See what petty bullying can do for you.

Marco Rubio: My baby face will distract you from my old policies.

Ted Cruz: Compared to me, Joe McCarthy was an amateur.

Carly Fiorina:  No more baby parts!

Ben Carson: Me and Jesus used to double date.

Rand Paul: Sure I'm crazy but I'm not as crazy as the Republican lunatics I'm running against.

Mike Huckabee: No more Mr. Nice Republican. It's time to let the big dog eat.

Rick Santorum: The white Ben Carson.

Lindsey Graham: Please let me bomb somebody. Anybody.

John Katich: The closest thing to a voice of reason that the Republicans are ever going to get.

George Pataki: Admit, it, it's fun to say Pataki. And that's why you should vote for me.

Jim Gilmore: If I told you I was related to the Gilmore Girls would you vote for me?

So you hate Obama

That’s okay. I hated George Bush. In fact, I still hate George Bush just as I suspect you’ll continue hating Obama years after he’s been out of office. I hate George Bush for stealing the election. Don’t come up with those lame excuses. The Supreme Court stole the election for George Bush. I hate George Bush for trying to steal Social Security. I hate George Bush for lying to get the country to go to war with Iraq. I hate George Bush for being such a fucking wimp; he let Dick Cheney do whatever the fuck his mechanical heart wished to do. I hate George Bush for saying that the thing that hurts the most from when he was president was when Kanye said, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” So having an entertainer hurt his precious feelings was more painful than 9-11, Katrina, the Iraq War, and the war in Afghanistan?  God that makes me hate him even more. I hate him for acting tough rather than being tough. If he was so tough then why didn’t he screen people who came to his town hall meetings to make sure there were only people there who supported him? He was too much of a pussy to face the public. He was too much of a pussy to handle Helen Thomas. Oh and back to Kanye’s statement about Bush not caring about black people. Kanye was wrong. George Bush didn’t care about anybody who didn’t vote for him. He never tried to be the president for all the people, just those who kissed his little white ass. He was a smug, arrogant little man trying to be a big man and failed miserably. He was an embarrassment. I hate him. But then you hate Obama because he made sure I can get insurance. You hate Obama because he covered up Benghazi when he didn’t. You hate Obama for taking the stinking pile of shit George Bush left him and cleaning most of it up. I admit Obama hasn’t cleaned up all of Bush’s leftover crap, there’s just too much of it. So go ahead, hate Obama. You will never hate him as much as I hate Bush and the Republican party that breeds men like him.