Sunday, August 4, 2013

What I Don't Believe


I don’t believe in honest politicians. In fact, I think the words “honest politician” is an oxymoron.

I don’t believe the Bible is a reliable history book. The Hebrew Bible was passed down orally before committed to print. Most of the New Testament was written by people who never met Jesus.

I don’t believe corporations are people. If they were, then they need to pay into Social Security like the rest of us people.

I don’t believe the Hebrew Bible’s moral and spiritual importance is diminished by not being historically accurate.

I don’t believe a woman who has a lot of sex is a slut. It’s not a bad hobby.

I don’t believe the Bible is a science book. I don’t believe it should be used to advance scientific theories. I don’t believe it was ever meant to either. If the people who wrote the Bible were alive today, I believe there would be a story about God telling a prophet to warn us about Global Warming. The prophet could be Al Gore, but I haven’t decided if I believe in Al Gore.

I don’t believe children are our future. I believe children are their own future. I don’t believe my parents had my siblings and me as a way to shoot an arrow into the future to fulfill some prophetic heroic destiny. Well, maybe they had my little brother with that in mind, but definitely not me. I believe my parents had children because they wanted to have children.
I don’t believe the Messiah has come yet. Honestly, I’m not waiting for him. I believe God has already told us how to love each other and make this a better world. I believe we should do that first and then see what happens.

I don’t believe George Washington crossed the Delaware to get to the other side.  

I don’t believe a black cat crossing your path is bad luck. I lived with a black cat and he crossed my path constantly every day. Nothing bad happened except when he crossed my path on the way to the litter box.

I don’t believe I’ll ever make enough money to become a conservative. But I wouldn’t mind testing that theory by making boatloads of money. 

I don’t believe John Lennon meant it when he said he didn’t believe in Beatles. But even if he did, I do believe in Beatles.

I don’t believe people in my city know what sidewalks are for. I admit that most of them are old and uneven and impossible for joggers. But if you’re just strolling along or pushing a baby carriage, I believe using the sidewalk makes more sense than walking in the middle of the street.

I don’t believe in fairies. Sorry Tinkerbelle. It just doesn’t work for me.

I don’t believe in Zimmerman. I agree with Lennon on that one.     

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