Saturday, March 23, 2013

ALICE SPENDS ANOTHER DAY ACTING LIKE SHE OWNS THE PLACE


I see so many sad animal stories on the Internet about neglected, abused, and or abandoned pets that suffer horribly before being rescued in the final paragraph that I begin to feel that I just can’t take another reminder of how insensitive people can be towards helpless animals. The stories make responsible pet owners want to hug their beloved pets tightly and spoil them with expensive treats.

I appreciate the importance of these stories, but I feel an overwhelming need for a happy pet story. So here goes.

I won’t go into Alice’s past or how she came to live with us. She has been living comfortably in our home for seven years and counting. She has a steady supply of food plus the occasional treat. She has been known to get wickedly stoned on cat nip. She has a large yard that she never leaves. In that yard, she almost wiped out the chipmunk population until she realized that she needed to pace herself. When she does catch a chipmunk, she prefers the front half. Alice doesn’t care for chipmunk ass.

Alice lives to crap next to the neighbor’s house, but will use the litter box if it’s raining. The neighbor either doesn’t know she craps next to his house or he doesn’t care. He’s never mentioned it and I’m not going to bring it up, but I have noticed that the grass in that area is extra healthy and green.

We have two other cats. Alice likes to wrestle one of the cats and nap with the other. It adds balance to her life. Alice sleeps at the foot of our bed at night and in the morning after we get up, she continues to sleep in the bed alone. Sometimes she makes a cave in the covers and sleeps inside it. Alice loves caves. She also loves string, pipe cleaners, and fuzzy mice toys, but really who doesn’t?

We take Alice to the vet once a year for her check up and vaccinations or if she’s sick. Luckily, she rarely gets sick, which is a good thing, because she doesn’t care for the vet. But really, who does?

Alice purrs very quietly. It’s not a full purr but more of a huffing sound. She gets lots of love and attention so she huffs a lot. Alice is a happy cat who is not neglected, abused or abandoned. As a result, Alice acts like she owns the place.

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