Friday, May 20, 2011

Oh Rapture!

So the Rapture is tomorrow. And looting starts Sunday.

Or more likely, the excuses start Sunday for why the Rapture didn't come. There have been predictions that proved false (obviously) in the past, so I'm sure the predictors of this latest divine non-event have some good excuses stored up from past experiences.

But the group that should be most worried are the parents who believe in the Saturday Rapture who have kids who don't believe. If the Rapture doesn't come, then what kind of authority will they have over their children? Their kids will have an excuse not to listen to their parents ever again.

The parents say, don't do drugs, it will lead to madness and financial ruin. The kids say right and the Rapture was going to happen on May 21st. How'd that one work out? I think I'll take my chances and roll a joint. Or the parents warn their child that if he keeps doing that, he'll go blind. The kid says, blind enough to believe the Rapture was coming on May 21st? Excuse me, I'm going to my room to abuse myself.

A little part of me wonders if the Rapture really will happen. I believe there are things in the world beyond my understanding. I believe in the possibility of magic, ghosts, aliens, and divine intervention. So why not Rapture? I know if it comes, I won't be invited to join Jesus. But I also know that a lot of people who are convinced they are on the guest list will also not be ascending to the heavens. But they shouldn't be sad about that. They can join us left behinders for the Sunday Looting.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The time to repent has passed. When Jesus returns in October, you will be left behind. And we will see who is laughing then.