I know I am not the first person to think of doing misfortune cookies, but that's no reason why I can't come up with a batch of my own.
He’s Not Your Son.
Expect A Call From the IRS.
Rice Doesn’t Move By Itself.
You Will Meet Your Spouse’s Lover.
It Will Not Be A Pleasant Visit.
Soon Your Mailbox Will Be Filled With Get Well Cards.
Your Date Put Something In Your Drink.
Hangovers Are Never Pretty.
Nor Is The Person Who Wakes Up Beside You.
Pulling Out Is Not An Effective Method for Birth Control.
That’s Not a Cold Sore.
In The Morning You Will Discover
That It Hurts To Pee.
A Large Sum of Money Is About To Leave Your Life.
You Will Lose Your Car Keys.
What Was Once Your Favorite Shirt
Will Be Transformed Into A Rag.
She Is Not A Woman.
It Is Rare For One Such As Yourself
To Survive A Cough Like That.
Oh, never mind.
A special something that is large and green is stuck in your teeth.
You parked WHERE?