Monday, December 29, 2008

Road to inauguration. Vacation Edition

Time to contrast and compare:

Bush on vacation.

Obama on vacation.

Don't you know the White House press corp is looking forward to covering the President's vacations in Honolulu instead of Crawford, Texas.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 14

Obama tells investigators that he did not have Senate seat selling relations with that Governor.

Meanwhile... everybody hide your face! Cheney's going hunting again!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A message from Mr. Santa T

Mr. Santa T pities the fool who doesn't have a Chappy Chanukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Rockin' New Year!

Road to inauguration. Christmas Special

Santa Obama promises to bring America new jobs and global respect.

Santa Bush gives America the same gift he's given America for the last eight years.

Santa Clinton promises to deliver all his financial information so that Hillary can become Secretary of State.

Santa Cheney says that if you're extra good and stop asking him why he crapped on the Constitution for the last eight years, he promises not to waterboard you.

Road to inauguration. Part 12

Obama informs Bush that it's time for him to stop screwing the world.

Meanwhile...Cheney almost has a moment of compassion...

but it quickly passes.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 11

Obama keeps his promise to talk to enemy leaders without preconditions by meeting with Godzilla...

and Ed the cat.

Meanwhile...Bush has to return his flight suit to G.I. Joe and loses the deposit for keeping it past the deadline...

and Cheney needs more brains!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 10

Obama hands his Blackberry over to the Secret Service.

Meanwhile...Cheney tries to assure Bush that they will never be prosecuted for war crimes.

Road to inauguration. Part 9

Obama runs into Sarah Palin but can't remember her name or where he's seen her before.

Meanwhile...Bush Sr. punishes Bush Jr. for being a bad president.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 8

Obama takes time out from his busy road trip to inauguration to relax and do fun stuff.

Obama plays back up for the Creature from the Black Lagoon and Mick Jagger's duet.

Obama shoots hoops with Mr. T and Spider-man.

Meanwhile....Bush finally locates a WMD.

Road to inauguration. Part 7

Obama introduces his "team of rivals."
(l to r: Wonder Woman, Cheetah, Batman, Joker, Commander Adama, Cylon, Col. Hogan, Col. Klink)

Meanwhile...Bush goes shoe shopping in Baghdad.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 6

Obama discovers a pothole in his road to inauguration when the world finds out that Governor Blagojevich was trying to sell Obama's Senate seat to the highest bidder.

Meanwhile...Bush discovers that if you turn a W upside down, it becomes an M.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Say Goodnight Gracie

A month after she ran away, our cat Gracie was found dead in a nearby yard. The people who lived at the house connected to this yard moved away years ago and no one has lived in it since.

Our neighbor found Gracie’s body. Let’s call our neighbor John.

It was John’s fenced in yard that Gracie originally went into on the day she ran away. We searched John’s yard that day, but couldn’t find her. I even looked under the shed in the yard. I didn’t look inside the shed because it was locked up and I figured there was no way Gracie could get inside.

I now know that Gracie did find a way into the shed and had been in there for at least three weeks. I know this because John told my wife that he had seen Gracie in the shed more than once and kept trying to shoo her away so that she’d go home. Only Gracie didn’t go home.

“She even hissed at me one time,” John told my wife.

What John didn’t explain was why he never told us that our cat was in his shed. He knew we were looking for her and even if he didn’t know what our cat looked like, he knew that the last place we had seen her was in his yard.

John claims he finally chased Gracie out of the shed and down the driveway a week ago. He asked my wife if maybe that was our cat. My wife said yes that was her. John offered to look for Gracie and five minutes later, he found her partially covered body in the yard at the end of the driveway.

I don’t believe John is a malicious man. I don’t think he aided Gracie’s demise on purpose. I believe instead that he is a self-centered man who never thought that maybe he should tell us that our cat was hiding in his shed. I think that Gracie was a problem that he just didn’t want to be bothered with, so he ignored the problem in the hope that it would eventually go away.

I also believe Gracie died in his shed. John found her in the yard too easily. I believe he knew where her body was because he put it there. Also, Gracie’s body was not weathered in any way and she wasn’t decayed.

It breaks my heart to know that Gracie was so close to home. We could have rescued her so easily. Couldn’t she smell us or see us? Why didn’t she come home?

We buried Gracie next to her brother, George in the back yard.

Before my wife called me at work to tell about Gracie, I was at a going away party for one of my fellow employees. I was sitting with a group of women and the subject of cats came up. I told them how Gracie had run away and how I had searched for her every day. I still had hope that Gracie would either find her way home or someone would find her and give her a new home.

One of the women said to me, “All cats go to heaven.” At that moment, I thought it was an odd thing to say, but now I know she was right. Gracie was a weird, annoying, tortured cat, but there were days where she played and sang and purred with joy. All cats go to heaven.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 5

Obama appoints Dr. Gori as head of the Environmental Protection Agency. Reaction is mixed. On one hand, Dr. Gori is a mad scientist super ape determined to conquer Earth and the arch nemesis of Spectreman in Spectreman's 1970s Japanese live action sci fi series. On the other hand, it is well known that Dr. Gori totally hates pollution. No word yet on whether there will be a place for Dr. Gori's assistant Karras at the EPA.

Meanwhile...Bush travels back in time and proves the theory of Creationism.

Road to inauguration. Part 4

The Obama Dioramas continue.

Obama deflects the wrath of the Catholics angered over the prospect of a Pro-Choice President

Obama attempts to stimulate the global economy.

Meanwhile...Bush is keynote speaker at the American Supervillain Institute's holiday meeting.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Road to inauguration. Part 3

As always, Obama is busy, busy, busy.

Obama gets Bill Clinton to help him choose an intern.

Obama joins the ranks of black superheroes.

Meanwhile...Bush ponders how his presidency might have been different if he had been born a cow.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Road to inauguration continues. Part 2

More adventures for Obama.

Obama unleashes Hillary onto the world at large.

Obama meets with his closest advisors.

Meanwhile...Bush meets with his foreign policy advisors to see if there's time to squeeze in one more invasion before Christmas.